Attachment Trauma

Online Treatment Available


Attachment Trauma—sometimes called "Developmental Trauma" -- is the result of repeated failures of the parent or caregiver to meet the emotional and psychological needs of the child necessary for healthy development -- especially in the first six years of life. 


Developmental trauma occurs on a spectrum from mild but frequent neglect or mis-attunements to the kinds of severe abuse and neglect described under the section, "Complex Trauma of Childhood".  These stress-inducing interactions shapes what the child can expect in relationship with an adult -- whether it will be reliable and safe, or unpredictable and dangerous. This, in turn, determines the child's style of attachment to its parent. I many cases that attachment style persists into future relationships as an adult.


There are four categories of attachment styles:

1. When children are raised by emotionally attuned and responsive parents, they form a secure attachment with their parents and bond readily to them. They typically will grow up with confidence, resilience, and feelings of self-worth.  These children will grow to be adults who find it easy to be warm and loving with others. 


2. If parents are emotionally distant or unpredictable, the child is likely to develop an insecure attachment style and have difficulty bonding with the parents, never knowing if the parents will be available to meet their needs. Lacking trust in the parent's availability, they will become anxious and require repeated reassurance to feel safe.


 3. If parents are consistently withdrawn or neglectful, the child is likely to develop an avoidant attachment style and grow up needing to be very independent, minimizing the value of relationship and tending to maintain emotional distance with others. 


4. If the parent or caregiver is themself the source of the abuse or neglect (as described in the section on "Complex Trauma of Childhood"), the child faces an impossible dilemma: the natural impulse to seek safety by moving toward the parent is blocked by the urge to move away from danger. This attachment style is described as disorganized.  The child is left feeling isolated, unable to self-soothe, and in a chronic state of distress. In addition, severely traumatized children often blame themselves for what happened, which can lead to feelings of shame, anger, and negative beliefs about themself.  Such children grow up to be adults with a tendency toward emotional instability, difficulty trusting others, and challenges with intimacy.

  [ See "Resource" tab for info on Adverse Childhood Events.]


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[Please note that my practice is limited to residents of California.]